Ben from “Parks and Rec” Nerds Out Over a GoT Gift, and It’s Perfect

Ben Wyatt (played awesomely by Adam Scott) is the King Nerd among nerds on “Parks and Recreation”, so it’s only fitting that his lovely wife Leslie Knope (played equally awesomely by Amy Poehler) gets him a replica of the throne from Game of Thrones for their anniversary. The fact that this scene is this good and didn’t make it into the episode is a testament to how good “Parks and Rec” is, and I would bet 100 Gold Dragons that this was all improvised by these two. Genius!

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Staples Reading Test

See how the speed you read at compares to the national average. My results: 567 words per minute. 127% faster than the national average. Just below “high level executive” on their chart (although there are most definitely some high level executives who are slow readers, idk, that just struck me as a weird categorizing point). At that pace I could read “War and Peace” in 17 hours and 16 minutes, but I’m pretty sure I read the thicker Harry Potter books faster than that…. now I just want to go back and read Harry Potter again.

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Source: Staples eReader Department

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F$#@k Superbowl Commercials, British Cookie Commercial Best this Year So Far

This is literally the best thing I have ever seen. In my life. Ever.

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February 8, 2014 · 11:14 PM

Winter Olympics 2014: Amazing BBC Coverage Ad

 

With the Winter Olympics less than a week away, we’re seeing more and more news pieces on the athletes’ stories, the security situation in Sochi, and the detestable anti-gay regulations of the Russian government. These Olympic games are the most politically dramatic ones to take place in my memory (I’m only 24, so I’ve only seen a handful), but despite all of the pre-game turmoil, I, along with everyone else, am hoping that all the nations participating in the games can embrace the themes of friendly competition and physical showmanship that the Olympics strive for. This ad for the BBC’s coverage perfectly reminds us that we all marvel at what these athletes attempt, and what they attempt to conquer. Not one another, but the mountain, the ice, the game.

Ad was created by an advertising agency out of the UK : RKCR / Y&R

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February 1, 2014 · 9:16 PM

Winter Storm Kronos: Someone at the National Weather Service is a Star Trek Fan

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The eleventh (named) winter storm of the 2013-2014 North American Winter season has been named Kronos, the name of the Klingon home world in the Star Trek universe. So southerners about to be impacted by the first affects of this storm, sharpen your bat’leth for scraping your cars off tomorrow morning.

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Haircuts: They Are Torture to Me Every Time!

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I know it’s a kind of ridiculous subject, but honestly I hate getting my haircut, and I feel like the toddler from the picture (above) that just wants to get the hell out of that chair. I guess the main reason why is the awkward as all hell small talk that I subject my hairdresser to and vice versa. I’ve been to at least three different women in 5 months spans going back years and I just can’t seem to walk away from a haircut feeling like I wasn’t the most awkward, and weird person she’s going to see that day. I mean, I’ll cop to it, I am both awkward and weird no doubt, but at least when I let my nerd flag fly in other situations, there’s some context to back it up. A Star Trek reference. A weirdly obscure word that I retained from reading something equally obscure. Or I don’t get something they’re referencing like American Idol or a country song (FYI I’m in Iowa, there’s plenty of that to go around). Case in point, the last haircut I got was ok even though this new woman I went to ended up remembering me from grade school and I had no idea who she was of course, cause I remember nothing before about 4 years ago. Anyway, I told her I always let my hair do it’s naturally curly thing, I don’t fight it, I like it, I embrace it. She proceeds to do that weird blow out thing, that yes, looks good on plenty of other women, but I hated it. Then the people at the desk on the way out were like, “Oh you should totally go out to tonight, you look fabulous! *squee*” I proceeded to choke back some vomit, say something nice and completely fake, and walk out the door.
Maybe it’s not so much I can’t be comfortable in a salon, it’s just another way that living in this particular corner of the Midwest makes me feel so out of place and weird. I like who I am, I like my curly hair, and I don’t want to even try to look like everyone else. Now lets pretend we’re both death mutes and get this haircut over with…. but please do that scalp massage thing when you wash my hair cause that is amazing.
Jesus, this is a weirdly dumb, and random post but I thought I’d just put that out there. Hopefully, in time, I can take a kind of random thought like this but create a more interesting and well thought out post, but this has just turned into rambling, and boring nonsense. Much like me in a salon.

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Review – The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug

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(Note: The first portion of the post is how I feel going into the movie, the second part how that notion lines up with the movie)
I just want to start out saying that I really liked the Lord of the Rings Trilogy of films, and that I read “The Hobbit” when I was about 12, and thoroughly enjoyed that as well. That being said, I cannot figure out for the life of me why Peter Jackson and all of those involved would turn “The Hobbit” into almost 9 HOURS worth of movie. Now, I know that they are drawing from “The Silmarillion” and, having seen the first Hobbit film, it looks like they are looking to explain how Sauron came to be, and Mordor came to exist and all that jazz. That’s all well and good and understandable, but then I saw the first movie. And it took them what felt like 2 hours just to get out out Bilbo’s fucking house. Being the nerd that I am, I should be looking forward to seeing this movie, but I’m kind of dreading it, and only going cause my nerdy father would like to see it. I am optimistic though, considering that the heavy handed exposition that took place in the first film is (hopefully) now over, and we can move along a bit more swiftly in the story. We’ll see how it goes…..

Well, I just got back from the movie and dinner, and you want to know what I had for dinner? A nice, big, steaming plate of crow. I actually really liked “The Desolation of Smaug”. There were a few times in there that I thought, “Man, Peter Jackson didn’t have to cut out anything did he?” Some of the scenes or shots even were too long, and I think it was just him having so many hours to fill with a story that wasn’t that many pages to begin with, that he could keep in moments that someone with less hours allotted would have dropped. I liked the second Hobbit movie much better than it’s predecessor though, and am really looking forward to the last installment. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have some very stringy bird to go pick out of my teeth.

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