Haircuts: They Are Torture to Me Every Time!


I know it’s a kind of ridiculous subject, but honestly I hate getting my haircut, and I feel like the toddler from the picture (above) that just wants to get the hell out of that chair. I guess the main reason why is the awkward as all hell small talk that I subject my hairdresser to and vice versa. I’ve been to at least three different women in 5 months spans going back years and I just can’t seem to walk away from a haircut feeling like I wasn’t the most awkward, and weird person she’s going to see that day. I mean, I’ll cop to it, I am both awkward and weird no doubt, but at least when I let my nerd flag fly in other situations, there’s some context to back it up. A Star Trek reference. A weirdly obscure word that I retained from reading something equally obscure. Or I don’t get something they’re referencing like American Idol or a country song (FYI I’m in Iowa, there’s plenty of that to go around). Case in point, the last haircut I got was ok even though this new woman I went to ended up remembering me from grade school and I had no idea who she was of course, cause I remember nothing before about 4 years ago. Anyway, I told her I always let my hair do it’s naturally curly thing, I don’t fight it, I like it, I embrace it. She proceeds to do that weird blow out thing, that yes, looks good on plenty of other women, but I hated it. Then the people at the desk on the way out were like, “Oh you should totally go out to tonight, you look fabulous! *squee*” I proceeded to choke back some vomit, say something nice and completely fake, and walk out the door.
Maybe it’s not so much I can’t be comfortable in a salon, it’s just another way that living in this particular corner of the Midwest makes me feel so out of place and weird. I like who I am, I like my curly hair, and I don’t want to even try to look like everyone else. Now lets pretend we’re both death mutes and get this haircut over with…. but please do that scalp massage thing when you wash my hair cause that is amazing.
Jesus, this is a weirdly dumb, and random post but I thought I’d just put that out there. Hopefully, in time, I can take a kind of random thought like this but create a more interesting and well thought out post, but this has just turned into rambling, and boring nonsense. Much like me in a salon.


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